There sat the largest armadillo she'd ever seen in her entire life.
She checked that thought, tried to remember if that was necessarily true or not, and had to qualify that with a possibly, as she'd once seen an obscenely large picture of an armadillo on a website somewhere, posted by someone who hadn't quite figured out the concept of cropping images.
What she didn't know that neither the picture on the website nor the creature sitting on the sidewalk, chewing slowly on something, was an armadillo.
The thing on the website was purported to be the only photo on the web of a Tunisian marmoset, and the thing sitting on the sidewalk was actually an armadillo, she decided. And the largest one she'd ever seen, at that. So she was back in approximately the same condition in which she began, without thinking the picture on the web was an armadillo any longer.
She jotted a quick note down on her pad of paper, and made a wide circle around the aforementioned armadillo, who followed her with it's beady eyes quite lazily, while it chewed, also quite lazily.
Later that evening, seated on her couch in a position that suggested that she was never going to remove herself from the couch, either because her posture wouldn't allow her ever the kind of leverage she'd need to get out of the chair and perhaps require the services of a good chiropractor and a masseuse (though the masseuse honestly might not be necessary, it's always a good idea, just in case, to enlist the services of a masseuse, for almost every occasion) or because she just looked incredibly comfortable and not inclined to mess with a good thing, she was thinking back on the day, and the major event of the day, which was the armadillo identity crisis.
The assumption would be that she was a bit of an egotist (or solipsist, at any rate), thinking that her momentary confusion as to whether or not it was an armadillo qualified as an identity crisis which in turn qualified as the major event of the day, but she wasn't remiss in any of her thinking, as it just so happens that the armadillo did have a bit of an identity crisis, and was attempting to climb the lamppost it had been sitting near in order to take off and start exercising it's wings and see if it couldn't find some mussels to fly around with and drop on rocks, which it didn't have (both the wings and the mussels), and was just part and parcel of the whole identity crisis it was having just after the woman had completed her circuit of the previously lazy-looking creature.
In the ensuing odd looks the armadillo received, it got a little irritable, gave up it's pursuit of flight, and dove around the sidewalk biting people's ankles until someone grabbed hold of it and talked some sense into it.
disclaimer:
This week we have a special treat, an official document out of the offices of the q.i. government, the first of it's kind.
It's the Official Q.I. Government Ministry of Citizenry and Royal Happiness Application for Planethood (of Big and Smalle Planets Alike, But Not Comets, Meteors, Satellites, or Other Celestial Bodies, Nor Can It Be Used as Proof of Identification When Attempting to Rent a Video or Applying for a Building Permit).
Yer Weekly Horoscopes. this is still here?