Impossible Numbers

I was raised in a book store.

Now, I don’t mean that I had bookish parents who spent a good deal of time lugging their kids to the book store to keep them quiet, or educate or entertain them. I mean this: one day, in late June, 2008, my father took myself and my sister to the book store to get out of a vicious downpour that had arrived in the exact instant we were exiting the pharmacy.

We arrived, dripping, both of us in my father’s arms, who had done his best to shield us from the drops. But still we dripped. He took us over to the children’s books section, where I pulled out book after book, brought it over to the little plastic chair he had pulled out for me, sat down and proceeded to flip through, showing him and my sister (who was not one, at the time, and not much interested in books, except as food, just yet) fire trucks, ducks, and more fire trucks. I was really keen on fire trucks.

After fifteen minutes, my father spoke to the woman in the children’s room: “Do you mind… look, can I just, I don’t want them to get any more wet… I’m going to run to the car, where I have an umbrella. I’ll be right back. I’m just down there, near the train station.” He laid my sister out on the floor, on her back, from where she immediately sprung to her knees, and crawled over to the book shelf.

And that was the last we saw of my real dad.

disclaimer

Kids, here’s the urgent deal (less urgent than last week, more urgent than, say, getting a peanut butter and Fluff(tm) sandwich). Get over to RedRoom.com.

Our dear, beloved founder’s ranking, at time of press, is 75th out of 914 authors. Don’t make us beg. You’re still all invited to the after-party, should we win. Or come in in the top ten. Yeah, we’ve been neglecting you as of late. But what happened was we bought each and every staffer at Sane Magazine an iPhone, and now productivity is through the floor: “Take my picture!”, “Surf to my website, only not on your laptop, or desktop, but on your phone! Cool! Here, here, try this one… wow!”

We’ve tried taking them all away, but our employees are a lot stronger than you might think, looking at them.

Hopefully we can build some iPhone-interfaces to the magazine to allow them to use the phones and still get some decent content up here. We shall see.

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Your weekly horoscopes.

General — mhanlon.

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