sanemagazine: wonderful rubbish

Sane Magazine will not be out this week, due to a faulty valve in the monolithic typing machine we use to write each week's issue. It's supposed to, so says the brochure, be mobile, and so we were busy moving it around the office this weekend, when suddenly it crashed into a wall, and a disturbingly ragged tear appeared in the metal that tends to make up a good deal of this machine.

Needless to say, we were all a little surprised, and the resulting explosion, which cleared half of Cathcart Road (our new offices, where this thing generally, or not, gets written) was disconcerting, to say the least.
(Slightly less surprising was the neighbours' swiftly fading good will and charity in this, our third major explosion to cause property damage in excess of Ł1,000 during the course of our stay here.)
Overall, we find it an altogether appalling and unacceptable claim, that the monolithic typing thing be mobile, when it's quite obvious it's going to fall to pieces the minute it hits a wall, a glaring oversight, especially since such a thing would seem to us to be rather likely, if you've got a trained monkey swinging from the top corner of the machine whilst hitting an intern with some sort of foam rubber thing, and just accounting for the simple proportion of walled space to non-walled space outside what must be rather sheltered (or perhaps un) testing grounds, indeed, in which they first came to the conclusion that, because someone was able to budge it, it was mobile. And that they hadn't foreseen someone seeing fit to replace the wheels with ice skates is just extremely shortsighted, indeed.

So we're left with a partially exploded monolithic typing machine (non-functional), a bruised trained monkey (functional, but irritable), an intern (), a wall, that, to be honest, we're never ever going to be able to lean our bicycles against ever again (or at least without the wall falling down, which defeats the purpose of leaning one's bicycle against a wall, probably), and a bucket of fried chicken (picked up by another intern in the afermath of the explosion and breaking of the momolithic typing thing, and quite functional, as a matter of fact).

We apologise for the inconvenience and appreciate your deep concern and understanding.

disclaimer:
You are not reading this.


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				Sane Will Not Be Out This Week
		archives horoscopes contacts fables home		Sane Magazine will not be out this week, due to a faulty valve in the monolithic typing machine we use to write each week's issue. It's supposed to, so says the brochure, be mobile, and so we were busy moving it around the office this weekend, when suddenly it crashed into a wall, and a disturbingly ragged tear appeared in the metal that tends to make up a good deal of this machine. Needless to say, we were all a little surprised, and the resulting explosion, which cleared half of Cathcart Road (our new offices, where this thing generally, or not, gets written) was disconcerting, to say the least. (Slightly less surprising was the neighbours' swiftly fading good will and charity in this, our third major explosion to cause property damage in excess of Ł1,000 during the course of our stay here.) Overall, we find it an altogether appalling and unacceptable claim, that the monolithic typing thing be mobile, when it's quite obvious it's going to fall to pieces the minute it hits a wall, a glaring oversight, especially since such a thing would seem to us to be rather likely, if you've got a trained monkey swinging from the top corner of the machine whilst hitting an intern with some sort of foam rubber thing, and just accounting for the simple proportion of walled space to non-walled space outside what must be rather sheltered (or perhaps un) testing grounds, indeed, in which they first came to the conclusion that, because someone was able to budge it, it was mobile. And that they hadn't foreseen someone seeing fit to replace the wheels with ice skates is just extremely shortsighted, indeed. So we're left with a partially exploded monolithic typing machine (non-functional), a bruised trained monkey (functional, but irritable), an intern (), a wall, that, to be honest, we're never ever going to be able to lean our bicycles against ever again (or at least without the wall falling down, which defeats the purpose of leaning one's bicycle against a wall, probably), and a bucket of fried chicken (picked up by another intern in the afermath of the explosion and breaking of the momolithic typing thing, and quite functional, as a matter of fact). We apologise for the inconvenience and appreciate your deep concern and understanding. disclaimer: You are not reading this.

Sane Will Not Be Out This Week