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Yesterday, in the balmy Rio suburb of Chile, tragedy struck.
Or crawled, rather. Some believe, anyhow, that's how it got there.
Morning broke to the terrifically impressive sight of a rutabaga, a frightfully large rutabaga, sitting astride a few cars in the parking lot of Chile's main post office.
This was somewhat similar to an incident covered by sanemagazine six and a half years ago, in which a giant potato invaded Guatemala. In fact, the titles of the articles are virtually identical, but for the change in venue and vegetable.
It is believed the rutabaga invaded Chile under the impression that the mneumonically similar peppers, long an envious vegetable cousin of the rutabaga for it's legendary heat (whilst a rutabaga is left having a rather bland, tasteless taste. This however, may be tainted by the fact that this is a rutabaga cooked in England, where, before landing in any sort of grocer's window, it must go through a thorough detoxification and removal of flavour (not to be confused with flavah), to bring out the natural essences invoked by dipping the vegetable in question in lukewarm water for ten to fifteen minutes.), had some sort of relatonship to the ridiculously thinly shaped country.
A boy named Sue said that he wasn't surprised in the least by the sudden appearance of the rutabaga (suggesting, by the way, by it's suddenness, a hitherto unheard of degree of stealth exhibited by rutabagas, boiled or otherwise), but we have it on good authority that he was lying, and besides, we don't really believe his name was Sue, anyway.
The national guard had been notified, but didn't seem terribly fussed with the prospect of a giant rutabaga, and figured it could wait until EastEnders was over before removing it from the automobiles.
They were horribly mistaken, though, as just as EastEnders was about to end, the rutabaga, rolling over a postbox, three small rollerbladers, and a decorative tree, went off home. Despite it being a giant rutabaga, it lost the throngs of reporters and three young parakeets in the crowd, and has not been seen in some time.
disclaimer:
sanemagazine's corporate offices have now moved ever closer to Stamford Bridge, in order to better taunt Chelsea supporters, who are never ever going to see their squad play well in England.
There is a very lovely tree across the road, if you're stopping by.
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