An Inconsequential Turn of Phrase
Sometimes it just works out that the hero doesn't get the girl.
Sometimes I also manage to make a meatloaf that I'll wind up having around the house for weeks without it going off. It tastes a little off by the very tail end, but, overall, it's not bad. And hey, it keeps me going.
In fact, the meatloaf, being at the tail end of its useful life, was what contributed, in my case, to the hero not getting the girl. You see, I get a little heavier. A little bit slower. I don't know if it's the tryptophan in the turkey I'll sometimes use. It might be my inherent laziness. I inherited the laziness from my older brother Ted, who, incidentally, was named after Ted Kennedy. I don't know why that's important, it's just that he came back into all of our lives (my sisters and my younger brother), and every time he introduced himself to anyone, any of the newly acquired in-laws in his time away, he'd suffix his intro with: "I was named after Ted Kennedy." He did this so often that I began to think of him not simply as "Ted" but as "Ted, I was named after Ted Kennedy, you know." Which I'm nearly certain he wasn't since 1) my parents didn't particularly follow politics, 2) had posters of Teddy's brother Bobby and Alice Cooper in the sitting room, and 3) all of us had been given names that could be shortened to Ted. I was Edward. My other brother was Tedward (I suppose they were running out of gas at that stage), my sisters were Edwina and Teddasophocles (and this was the height of their creativity, I suppose). So I don't think it was all for the youngest Kennedy brother. If it was, they did a brilliant job, covering it all up. And wherever they were, these days, well, maybe they could be the ones to well and truly clear it all up, but until they returned from... wherever, we would just have to endure Teddy and his introduction.
But I digress.
The meatloaf. Or laziness. At any rate, the girl in question also happened to be a torn out page from a magazine with an ad for women's underwear and she happened to be dating Tom Brady. So maybe it wasn't the meatloaf that lost the girl for the hero, after all.
Maybe it was some scheme of Bill Belichick's after all. And perhaps Bill was our real father... none of us knew, for certain, for the only pictures we had of our parents were fuzzy, Bigfoot-footage-evoking photographs. Perhaps this was what the hero of the story was supposed to accomplish: find our real parents. And tell them to have Teddy shut up, already.
To be continued... ?
disclaimer:
Still working on that thing from last week Further Fenway Fiction. So don't go freaking out on us just yet.
Just take a deep breath. It works for our two year old, it'll work for you.
In the meantime, get out there and harass your local book shop about getting Further Fenway Fiction so we can help you out when we finally get our act together on this end. Or, if the wait and that preorder button on Amazon.com is driving you nuts, head on over to the publisher's website and pick up a copy directly from Rounder Books.
SPONSOR MESSAGES:
Support Sane:
Tshirts & clothing: The Sane Magazine Shop at Cafe Press
- New designs trickling in now.
A Book: Fenway Fiction
A Second Book: Further Fenway Fiction
For you writerly types: Download Writer.app (which is free, so it's not really supporting us in a monetary, sugar daddy or mommy sort of way, but more in a "hey you guys go!" sort of way)
Or, visit our store at Amazon... check out some of the books that inspire or otherwise provoke the Sane Magazine writers.
Discuss this in the forums
Discuss the horoscopes in the forums
Forum hosting provided by forumthing.