This is the One that'll Break It
I was sitting alone, it was ten PM.
I was supposed to be somewhere, but wasn't.
I suppose I could have been upset about that, but I wasn't. Just couldn't work up the nerve to be.
Sorry, that should read 'energy', not nerve. 'Nerve' doesn't make much sense. It wasn't nervy to get upset about sitting quietly, on what appeared to be another astral plane, soaking it all in. "Feeling the meat of the moment," as my father used to say. My father was a butcher, and liked to toss around meat metaphors. I hated bringing friends home for this very reason.
Now, before you get all worried that I'm getting all Clannad on you with this astral plane stuff, let me assure you I'm not.
I don't even believe in horoscopes, to be perfectly honest about things. Which is possibly where I went wrong, since my horoscope this week did mention me missing an appointment. Or I thought it had meant I'd miss an appointment. Since it said I was supposed to be somewhere, but wouldn't be, come Monday evening.
It just seemed that that was where I was, not being anywhere. I just existed, not anywhere or any particular type of existing, I just was. Sort of Zen-like, you know? I just kept wishing there was one other person, just one, so I could say to them, if they asked, and I would make damn sure they did ask, what type of day I was having (or had, I'm not picky), I would respond "None at all."
All right, maybe you need to see the face I'd make. And I'd sort of cross my arms... like this, maybe with a little.. ungh, twist, like so.
And there you'd have it. If you were the person there with me. Which might defeat the whole purpose of not being somewhere, if there were a load of people running around.
That must be how the Buddha feels. Lonely, but good, too, you know? Ever since that one guy started spreading the rumor about "if you meet the Buddha along the road you must kill him thing," jeez, I mean, I would feel pretty good if I never met anyone if there were instructions floating around out there for people to kill me should they meet me. I mean, odds may be in my favor that they haven't gotten the instructions, but I wouldn't want to take any chances. Unless I were endowed with superpowers or something, then I might not mind, because it'd probably be good to exercise the old superpowers every once in a while. And what better way to stretch them out than by preventing yourself from being killed?
My father would often ask "Do superpowers solve everything, do they? Do they put bacon on the table?" Now, keeping in mind that I didn't have superpowers, I could guess that they might, if your powers gave you strength and maybe a heat vision ray you could surely just grab a carving knife like anyone else after killing the pig with your bare hands and carve up some slices which you'd then heat up with your super heat vision. Et voilà! I would say, laying the bacon out on the table. Ehm, if I had superpowers, that is.
Sometime after ten I got to thinking about my date, who was probably at the bowling alley, where I was supposed to meet her at nine o'clock. For our date.
I also thought, seeing as how the Buddha wasn't around here, maybe he'd met her at the bowling alley instead, and she had to try and kill him.
She was a Buddhist, after all, and I'm pretty sure she was the one who quoted that particular one to me.
"Money where your mouth is, babe," was all I could think.
disclaimer:
We now have more happy fun time gadgets for you to play with! This is insane, in a used car salesman sense of the word!
After feedback received from last week's launch of the oh so cool and time saving Summary feature, we now present you lazy a**es with Quick Summary! Ta-DA!
Now you can bookmark that URL, and every Monday evening or so go ahead and navigate to that for your Sane Magazine clickery!
And presto! Sane Magazine in incredibly easily digestible chunks for even the most faint-hearted of you.
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