To save on questions being repeated at the events in the Sane Magazine/Supertart joint tour, we're posting a few frequently asked questions this week (and the answers to them), and made a few assumptions about which popular issues you're dying to find out the founder of Sane Magazine's opinion on. If you insist on asking any of the following questions, we ask that you please do it in a falsetto.
Q. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? (email)
A. Brisbane, Australia.
Q. Is it true this tour is based (loosely) on The Odyssey? (projected)
A. No. While it's true that we'll all be traveling quite a bit, the founder has no wife named Penelope waiting at home, no son named Telemachos (and no inclination to name any son of his as such), none of the crew traveling are Greek (though there is one amongst them that looks suspiciously like the world famous Greek harpist, Bill), and if they're waylaid by Sirens there's a good chance none of them are coming back.
However, in that we're traveling, yes, it's based (loosely) on The Odyssey. As they tend to travel in that for quite a bit.
In spite of which, as far as we know, no publisher, as of yet, has plans to re-release The Odyssey with a new cover, depicting the Sane Magazine/Supertart 'Day in the Park' Tour logo and a bold proclamation "Inspiration for the Sane Magazine/Supertart 'Day in the Park' Tour".
Q. Is this tour for real? (multiple emails)
A. Yes.
Q. Would you like to be a partner in the Pyschic Horoscopes network? (email)
A. Err... no. And you spelled 'psychic' wrong. Unless that's a network of something we've never heard of before. In which case, forget the comment on the spelling, and the answer is still no. Unless the network involves strawberry jam in a creative fashion.
(NB. If you were intending to spell something other than 'Pyschic' a word, possibly a proper noun, with which we're not terribly familiar, your spelling is awful.)
Q. Are you nervous about your reception in New York, the city you mostly abandoned? (email)
A. Yes. If you would like to note this in your calendar, I'm planning on wearing green socks.
Q. Is this tour for real? ('phone conversation)
A. Yes.
Q. Is it true about your penchant for lateness? (email)
A. Ehm, well. Yes. However, that's pertaining usually to launches, publishing deadlines, and getting to anywhere you have to use the Northern Line to get to. These events are going off at the scheduled time and day at each location if it kills us. Or people on the F-train.
Q. Why New York, Seattle, and Los Angeles of all places? What about us poor folks in Chicago? (email)
A. Well, New York we thought would be obvious, we used to be largely based out of there until the unfortunate chain of events that forced us to go somewhere a little quieter (for us). Also, an interesting note, the park in which the reading will be held is rumoured to be part of the setting of the new novel-in-progress from M. Hanlon, titled God Coffee, I Miss You. And, of course, the off-chance that rumoured Sane Magazine fangirl Sarah Michelle Gellar will put in an appearance.
Seattle, to be honest, I have no idea why. People kept telling me Starbucks or somebody came from there. And it rains a lot. I just know that I've gone out and bought a whole lot of flannel shirts, so there really wasn't a choice to be made, the tour had to go through Seattle.
Los Angeles was chosen simply because of In 'N' Out Burger and the intense interest from various shoppes to the film rights for Sane Magazine's touching story.
Chicago, to be honest, we had thought that was only a myth. Maybe next time.
Q. Is this tour for real? (people stopping us on the street)
A. Yes. Damnit. There, are you happy now?
disclaimer:
The Los Angeles location, we are proud to announce is, in the words of our crack researcher, "in Sherman Oaks, CA. There is a sign that says something about Van Nuys-Sherman Oaks... that may be the name of it. It's kinda in Sherman Oaks, but bordering on Van Nuys. Dog-walkers and picnics abound."
To give her credit, she finally did name it (though we think she was simply holding out for more money), "Sherman Oaks Van Nuys Recreational Center."
The Sane Magazine/Supertart 'Day in the Park' Tour dates:
For the latest, mail pr@sanemagazine.com.
Yer Weekly Horoscopes. Itkamenz.