sanemagazine: wonderful rubbish

I am reasonably grateful that the Sun around which the vast majority of us find ourselves spinning has not taken it into it's head to turn into a blackhole.

One can understand, the whole transition from regular old Sun to Red Giant, White Smurf, Terrible Tim, and finally Blackhole, being a rather arduous process (possibly akin to attempting to obtain a bank account, proof of identification, or liquor licence (though, in all fairness, getting a liquor licence for a magazine publisher might be a particularly "special" case)) during the course of which the star transitioning actually probably stops feeling quite like itself, especially when it collapses in upon itself and begins defying all sorts of physical laws and sucking Time and Light into itself, that the Sun simply wouldn't want to become a Blackhole.
It'd just be an incredible hassle if the Sun were a Blackhole; in addition to risking burning out permanently our nasal passages (take care not to laugh whilst drinking Lucozade), dealing with massive crowds of people, trying to fathom why t-shirts cost Ł12 only to find you're not going to buy one anyway because someone from that self-same crowd has nicked your wallet, living through yet another iteration of tourists, some of whom find themselves part of the crowd, some painfully obviously not, Light and all other things less speedy, including the sofa, being pulled towards the Sun/Blackhole. This makes it incredibly difficult to sit down.

And we all like to take a moment, or an afternoon, and sit down and relax once in a while. Which is probably the main reason I appreciate the fact that our Sun isn't a Blackhole.
That's not to say I don't think being able to say "Hey, I live on a planet just outside a Blackhole" wouldn't be cool. Though, of course, many people would be able to say back, "No kidding, so do I," possibly whilst wearing a "Kiss Me, I've Been to Ireland" badge, just before asking directions to Westminster Abbey.

The implications for having bad hair days and general bad gravitational days, however, quickly wins out over any coolness that may be gained by living outside a Blackhole.
So I, for one, quite like the fact we live just outside a reasonably content Sun, not thinking of turning into a Blackhole at any point in the near future. And I really like my sofa.

disclaimer:
We've been one year at www.sanemagazine.com! Wow!
It's been a tumultuous year, a fabulous year, one remarkably without any more troubles with Harrison Ford after that rather embarassing incident last year, and there are wild and completely unconfirmed rumours that Sarah Michelle Gellar is now a regular hanger-out at the sanemagazine offices.
There are also horribly unconfirmed and more than likely quite definitely wrong rumours that she's been hanging out because she's been dating the Head Editor.
We would like to take this time to nod in a suggestive way, though if anyone asks later (namely Sarah's lawyers), we weren't meaning to encourage such rumours at all. Not one bit. Nope.

Thank you, and good night.


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			The Haywain
	archives horoscopes contacts fables home		I am reasonably grateful that the Sun around which the vast majority of us find ourselves spinning has not taken it into it's head to turn into a blackhole. One can understand, the whole transition from regular old Sun to Red Giant, White Smurf, Terrible Tim, and finally Blackhole, being a rather arduous process (possibly akin to attempting to obtain a bank account, proof of identification, or liquor licence (though, in all fairness, getting a liquor licence for a magazine publisher might be a particularly "special" case)) during the course of which the star transitioning actually probably stops feeling quite like itself, especially when it collapses in upon itself and begins defying all sorts of physical laws and sucking Time and Light into itself, that the Sun simply wouldn't want to become a Blackhole. It'd just be an incredible hassle if the Sun were a Blackhole; in addition to risking burning out permanently our nasal passages (take care not to laugh whilst drinking Lucozade), dealing with massive crowds of people, trying to fathom why t-shirts cost Ł12 only to find you're not going to buy one anyway because someone from that self-same crowd has nicked your wallet, living through yet another iteration of tourists, some of whom find themselves part of the crowd, some painfully obviously not, Light and all other things less speedy, including the sofa, being pulled towards the Sun/Blackhole. This makes it incredibly difficult to sit down. And we all like to take a moment, or an afternoon, and sit down and relax once in a while. Which is probably the main reason I appreciate the fact that our Sun isn't a Blackhole. That's not to say I don't think being able to say "Hey, I live on a planet just outside a Blackhole" wouldn't be cool. Though, of course, many people would be able to say back, "No kidding, so do I," possibly whilst wearing a "Kiss Me, I've Been to Ireland" badge, just before asking directions to Westminster Abbey. The implications for having bad hair days and general bad gravitational days, however, quickly wins out over any coolness that may be gained by living outside a Blackhole. So I, for one, quite like the fact we live just outside a reasonably content Sun, not thinking of turning into a Blackhole at any point in the near future. And I really like my sofa. disclaimer: We've been one year at www.sanemagazine.com! Wow! It's been a tumultuous year, a fabulous year, one remarkably without any more troubles with Harrison Ford after that rather embarassing incident last year, and there are wild and completely unconfirmed rumours that Sarah Michelle Gellar is now a regular hanger-out at the sanemagazine offices. There are also horribly unconfirmed and more than likely quite definitely wrong rumours that she's been hanging out because she's been dating the Head Editor. We would like to take this time to nod in a suggestive way, though if anyone asks later (namely Sarah's lawyers), we weren't meaning to encourage such rumours at all. Not one bit. Nope. Thank you, and good night.

The Haywain