I Trains Fishes

Fish are notoriously difficult to train.


And trained fish are notoriously difficult to kill.


I know this stuff firsthand.


Unfortunately, I never put up that sign I'd intended to put up, warning people of the trained fishes:

WARNING: TRAINED FISHES, DON'T PUT YOUR HAND IN THE TANK

I would have written.


This wouldn't have covered all cases, and may have invited lawsuits from people sticking toes or noses in the tank, but it would have at least warned those people you wouldn't want to be attacked by incredibly, if I do say so myself, fishes.


So it was with a heavy heart and a couple of regrets that I pulled the poor guy, hand half-bitten off, from the edge of the tank. He slumped onto the sofa with little but a guiding hand from me to get him there. I grabbed a towel from the side table, where I kept towels, in case of emergencies like this. It's not that the wounds from the fish bleed profusely, or even at all, the pressure of a clean towel applied just so to the effected area just helps the victim cope with the shock of having been gnawed by a fish or two or the whole school, if they're unlucky.


And a tiny little part of me was disappointed there was no news crew around to record this one.



disclaimer:

Congratulations to Kate Hardy, a huge Munchkin fan, for her finish in the one hundred and tenth Boston Marathon.

It was a kinder, gentler running of the bulls. Imagine little children, men in jeans, women in clothes probably not entirely appropriate for running, and all sorts of other assorted clothed people, some with numbers, some without, running, jogging, stumbling, walking, stooping and picking up $20 bills feet from the finish line (no lie). And no bulls. A viking guy, with a message for world peace, but no bulls.

All in all, a nice day out in the city of Boston, watching a lot of people running because the train from Worcester to South Station simply takes far too long to get from point A to point B.

Next week... the history of the Boston Marathon? Who knows? Not us. But you will, if you hang around until next week.


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Until next week.

If you had feelings about this week's issue, be sure to let us know how you felt. If your feeling isn't covered here... well, I guess you're stuck, then, aren't you?
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17 Apr, 2006

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