Elvis Had a Time Machine
Or, How a Formerly Innocuous Drink Became Dangerous in the Hands of a Few
She had a poster on her wall, when she was a child, of Elvis in a spacesuit, helmet off (of course, she couldn't picture him ever putting it on, even if it meant asphyxiation in the depths of outer space), standing manfully on the surface of the moon, American flag blowing behind him in the wind, Elvis looking off into deeper space, with just the hint of a twinkle in his eye.
Now, at this stage, she couldn't quite remember if there were any words on the poster, but she did remember it as arty in an almost pulp-fiction-ish cover sort of way. And that she loved that poster. She thought the girls, when she was old enough to invite them over for sleepovers, would be insanely jealous of her Elvis poster. She even had this one fantasy in which Julie Newmar (a girl down the street, not the actress, though she did pretend she was related to her, once she grew old enough to know who Julie Newmar was, and spent three years running dressing up at Halloween as Catwoman) flew into a fit of rage, and attempted to rip the poster down from the wall. Georgina (she hated her name, and hated it even more when she thought of it in that detached third person sort of way when she was telling or thinking her stories) tackled her at the knees just as Julie sprung onto the bed, and she slammed her into the wall, literally right into it; through the thinnish and thinning plaster and in between two studs, *thump*! Only later the next day, when she was alone in her room (in this fantasy she was never punished, nor were the other girls sent home straight away, Julie was simply left stuck in the wall, and everyone else returned to their normal sleepover activities, which would never happen with her parents), she noticed the smallest chunk punched out of the poster, presumably from Julie's ears where they hit the wall, plaster settling around the torn edges of the paper in a fine film. She had no idea what to make of this particular fantasy.
She once asked a psychiatrist about it, years later, after the poster was long gone, and he didn't know what to make of it, either. It wasn't her psychiatrist. And it was not her psychiatrist in an actual sense; she didn't refer to the psychiatrist she visited on a regular basis as not her psychiatrist, even though everyone sort of knew she was seeing one pretty regularly. He was her neighbor, and she had asked him at a party thrown at their apartment building out of pure curiosity what a professional would make of it. He said to her, after her story, that, "if it was any consolation, [he] had a Buck Rogers poster on [his] wall that [he] adored that was ruined when a water pipe in the ceiling right above the poster broke." It was only years later that the water-stained poster came down, one week while he was away at camp, and his brother had friends sleeping over in his room.
To be continued...
Summary
disclaimer:
Merry Stevemas to all you Mac fanatics out there... it's Stevenote/Macworld Eve, and all the kittens were nestled all snug in their beds, because if they weren't quiet they might get their pants sued right off! Whether you're wishing for a Word Processor that'll slice and dice, as well, or a computer without a keyboard, monitor, mouse, or electricity, we hope you get your dearest wish.
Just remember that movie... you know, the one where the people were given something to wish for and they were careful that their wishes wouldn't be misconstrued and they'd get stuck with no ears and a great CD collection, having to burn a wish to get their ears back, only to lose the CDs, and their left arm, and then blowing the final wish to get their arm back and be stuck exactly where they were before they had the wishes. And you know what? They still wound up with exactly what they had before they had the wishes, because, well, it was a movie, and there wasn't much point in having it all go well now, was there?
Also, Happy Birthday to T�a, the newest addition to the janitor's sister's family. You have got incredibly long legs, little girl. And you've got a name that looks suspiciously like tea, a popular beverage with people, so I'm given to understand.
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