Taurus April 20 - May 20
Green. Now, is that the colour of a nail polish? Probably not, I'd imagine they'd be named something more clever, or saucy, like "Environmental Eroticism."
Your week will be tinted.

Leo July 23 - August 22
You see, I don't know a whole lot about nail polish. Not having worn a great deal, in my lifetime. Though, apparently, whether you yourself have worn a lot or not, it will apparently effect your Life quite a good deal this week.
It could just be the fumes, however.

Virgo August 23 - September 22
Purple (probably Violet Glitter Bug, in nail polish parlance). That will be your week.
A small dog will set up camp on your doorstep this week.

Gemini May 21 - June 20
Walnut with shiney tones. Which you wouldn't expect from walnut, being a nut and all. But this is what happens when you put edible things on your finger or toe nails. All havoc breaks loose.
The tap in the kitchen will give you troubles all week, as it enters it's pouting phase of the year.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
Your week would be best suited by red nail polish. Not necessarily the kind of red that might make someone think you might be what they call a woman (or man) of the evening, but perhaps a delightful blood red.
You may have to kill a fellow employee this week for chewing gum entirely too loudly.

Cancer June 21 - July 22
Midnight blue is the shape of your week.
The fact that your week is able to shape itself into a colour means all sorts of trouble for your hair this week, as there's not much hope hairspray alone is going to cut it.

Pisces February 19 - March 20
Fuschia.
You find no one likes a person who goes around poking everyone with a sharp stick.
There's no accounting for psychology, is there?

Aries March 21 - April 19
Black nailpolish, once you're out of your Goth phase, doesn't really suit a whole lot of people.
Luckily, it suits you, but only if you decide not to go out in public this week. Or leave your bedroom, for that matter. And happen to be playing the Cure albums over and over again.

Libra September 23 - October 22
Brown nail polish and a bright, screaming red sweater is in the stars for you this week.
If this were a tarot card reading, they'd be in the cards.
And you don't want to know how they got there, or why there's a slight tear in the sweater.

Scorpio October 23 - November 21
You wake up Monday morning, sniff the air, and get the faint scent of... no horoscope.
And your neighbour's snuck in overnight and painted your toenails while you were sleeping.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
Your week will be one of incandescent reverie.
What this means we're not entirely sure, though it sounds like a nail polish colour, one of those that you see and suddenly have the afterimage burned on your retinas for the next few weeks.
We recommend sunglasses.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Chocolate coloured nail polish, sadly, doesn't taste a whole lot like chocolate. And it doesn't taste like chicken, either.
Your week will be fabuously devoid of any sort of medieval torture.

[Horoscopes. I can't believe Feed didn't win. Or Sane Magazine, for that matter.]