The Lizard and the Butterfly
Well, here you are again, some more morally correct tales for you to either thoroughly enjoy, or to thoroughly not bother with at all. This fable comes down through the centuries, originating with the Boolu tribe, a very rude bunch of people that enjoyed going to neighbouring tribes and covering their trees with toilet paper. Actually, this stunt really wasn't that bad because at the time leaves were used as toilet paper, and this prank was seen as more stupid than annoying. Come to think of it, it's amazing that this fable made it to this day because that tribe was regarded as a very idiotic tribe that didn't have anything really intelligent to say. Oh well, here it is, so enjoy.
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful butterfly that loved to glide lazily through the meadows, lighting gently on the delicate flowers. One day, however, the butterfly decided to travel beyond the field's borders. It fluttered and bobbed through the air, in awe of the towering trees and new creatures it encountered. Graceful deer pranced by the butterfly, gracefully falling dead after a loud noise rang out from behind a cluster of trees. The butterfly thought that their acting was superb and really admired the way they fell (partly because butterflies lack the ability to fall, unless they are dead, but they really don't notice then because they, as a species, don't notice much when they die ).
Okay, so, this butterfly is out gliding about when it happens upon a really thick and overgrown swamp. This still pleases the butterfly, but only because it had never seen a swamp before because, actually, this was a really bad swamp, really scummy and all. It thinks (the butterfly, not the swamp), "Gee, what a really swell new place, I could really get in a good frolic here." On the other hand the swamp thinks, "Boy, I really smell, I hate marsh gas ", which is significant because it was believed until this point that swamps didn't really mind the smell of marsh gas, and when it was proved to be wrong various groups started Save the Olfactory Sanity of Swamps Leagues. Unfortunately, these charities started drawing from the Save the Whales and Dolphins funds and most aquatic life died off in a few weeks.
Another inhabitant of the swamp that happened to be basking in the darkness was an ugly and rather muddy lizard. When he saw this little thing floating through air he called out to it, in the hope that he could get to talk to something other than the nasty little insects that always ended up biting him anyway. The butterfly was overjoyed that it would be able to express the joy at the beautiful scenes it had seen, because it had been bubbling to itself for a while and was starting to get a little bit annoyed at itself.
So the butterfly landed very artfully on a patch of beautiful (or so it thought ) green moss, right next to the lizard. Right away it started happily admiring everything about the world around it. It complimented the lizard on it's stylish piece of skin that hung from it's neck, the brown scum left over on it's teeth from the last meal it had, and the particular puddle of mud it had chosen for it's current resting place.
Well, as you can imagine, these comments overjoyed the lizard to no end, and sought some way to show it's appreciation. So, the lizard very gratefully stepped on the butterfly. The butterfly didn't really have quite the joyous reaction which it had been having to all the other new things it had experienced that day, although the reaction was a pretty happy one for a dying creature. Also, this was not the reaction that the lizard had expected it to have to it's display of thanks. After the butterfly had not responded after a couple of minutes the lizard got bored and wandered off to a more central location in the swamp to check out the new fungus growths.
The Moral: Well, the first is, Don't Ever read another fable that came from the Boolu tribe, they really suck at telling stories.
Another Moral: If you are a butterfly, don't be so stupid that you get stepped on by an ugly lizard, because that probably is a bad way to end your day and life in one quick squish.
And Yet One More Moral: You really have to realise that the reason this was a classic Boolu story was probably because they failed to realise that what they were doing when they pulled their pranks was not cool at all. In this light, the story makes perfect sense and the intricacies shine through, but I really don't want to explain them so I guess that you have to figure them out for yourself.
Disclaimer: To any existing people of the Boolu tribe, don't take offence at the preceding article, it was written under the influence of lots of illegal drugs and Barry Manilow music.
Further Disclaimer: In no way is this a positive statement for the use of illegal drugs, just look at the quality of this article.
Related Disclaimer: Also, the same holds for my stand on Barry Manilow music.
Even Further Disclaimer: Do NOT read this story too many times, studies show that it caused cancer in laboratory rats that were forced to read it 7 times while chain smoking eight packs of cigarettes, being injected with carbon monoxide, and listening to known cancer-reducing songs.